Saturday, July 15 2023
Growenlandia, Amnesia Ibiza
Hi, my name is Neruana which means “the chosen one“ and I'm saying hello to you from Nuuk, the capital of Growenland. And say hello also to Nilak “Block of Ice“, my huge pet Mammoth. Now... don't go away, I'm going to tell you our story.
Everything started on the coldest night of the year with the thermometers showing -51.8 below zero. Like any good Inuit, I was sleeping in my igloo when I suddenly woke up, realising alarmed that Nilak had gone fishing and hadn't come back yet. Scared, I jumped onto my sledge with the dogs and went out to look for him. Suddenly, the most spectacular and massive display of Northern Lights I'd ever seen in my life appeared in front of my eyes; an amazing curtain of colours so shiny and brilliant that I was blinded just by the sight of it ...
And, to top it all, a mysterious hand suddenly grabbed me and said: “My name is Suluk, which means “Wings“. From now on I will be your Sherpa and your guide on this expedition” I was astounded! I told to him that I needed to find Nilak. So, Suluk created an opening in the curtain of lights before us and said “Good luck!”. Just like that ... what a guy! I had to keep dodging the falling stalactites that were breaking off due to the incredibly loud music playing nearby, until I finally reached a huge cave in the ice with a sign reading: WELCOME TO GROWNLAND I went inside, and what I saw was absolutely wild. Totally out of this world! I could not believe it! In front of me, surrounded by water, there was a Mr. Iceberg, and a whole lot of other weird characters, partying as if there was no tomorrow. Not that surprising, really, cos' there was Nilak in the cabin, doing a B2B with Mr. Yeti.
No joke, it was all the craziest thing I'd ever seen. Santa Claus was the king of the stage and that poor girl from Frowzen seemed a bit out of depth dancing with a pack of rebel, punky penguins. The squirrel from Ace Age was collecting shot glasses instead of acorns alongside a chubby snowman who was happily swimming around, blissfully unaware that he was melting away.
I remember the fridge that the skiers were dancing in, and the chairlifts that took you up to the cabin. And the whalers being chased by whales, and the legendary Jon Snow sporting pineapple swimming trunks having a drink with a frozen Leonardo DiCaprio. And let me tell you something, this party takes place only under a very set of special circumstances. It's celebrated only on the coldest night of the year, coinciding with the most spectacular Northern Lights of the winter season. But you've hit jackpot! My sherpa Suluk has tipped me off that the next one is going to happen very, very soon. I'm telling you just in case you want to come along. And a word to the wise; you don't want to miss it. So, wrap yourself up warmly because a perfect storm of snow, music and madness is about to arrive.
Welcome to our world below cerow. Glaciers, stalactites, snowy caves and huge icebergs in the middle of huge snowstorms. From the chairlifts, you'll spot a beautiful, glimmering aurora borealis, shining with green and blue shades that will totally wow you. Hop onto your board or your skis and visit the igloo village and go fishing with them. Get to know Nilak, my Mammoth, who, as usual, will be in the DJ cabin.
Growenland is a secret festival celebrated annually at -51 degrees, surrounded by ice, snow and lots of weird people you'll end up falling in love with. And to fight the cold, we dance like mad, and keep each other warm ; ). Hey, is that electronic music I hear. Well, see you on the dance floor where, with my moves and my Eskimo costume, I promise to get the temperature red hot.
I'm not joking when I tell that the performances in this show are the wildest craziness you'll ever feast your eyes on. Santa Claus struts his stuff on the stage while that poor thing from Frowzen gets way out of her depth with a pack of tearaway, punky penguins. The Ace Age squirrel collects shots instead of acorns. Whalers chased by whales and, wait for it, the legendary Jon Snow in a pineapple bathing suit having drinks with a frozen Leonardo DiCaprio.
Come dressed as a skier and rent some skis at the festival. You could be a Nancy Doll Skier, a pain in the ass penguin or the party animal version of the girl from Frowzen. Or you want to be an Eskimo, a sword fish or a polar bear? Go for it! Come as a lollipop or a summer version of Papa Rowel. Get your seal costume on, or come as a Beast from the Ice or the world's Scariest Snowman. It's all good. The only thing we really want is a lot, and we mean a lot, of fun that'll get you shaking all over, and not from the cold. That's for sure!